It’s not, however, the time and place for redemption. It’s for me to accept, what is, is, only the perception of what was changes.I realize when he stopped me on the sidewalk while I held my Pee Che folder in defense, it was the most wonderful thing which happened to me. He is my Camelot’s king. Together we have a happy little tribal kingdom, greater than any suave money prop castle of Edward’s. Yet, all is not well in our Camelot. Like Guinevere, I complicated the happily ever after-ing. I can never confess to him and destroy his deceived reality happiness. Why be Mordred and replace it with a harsher truth like my mother did to me? I don’t want him to lose his old age’s bliss with a truth that cripples and destroys. Yet he doesn’t and can never know me, the whole me. This I regret most.I don’t know if he had a secret puppet shadow, a hidden life unknown to me. My affairs may have blinded me to his. He left on business. "Stop calling me that." Kyle said. "I'm sorry." "You look different today. I just can't place it." Kyle said as he walked away. I was a little worried. Maybe I'm taking this female stuff a little to far, but who is it hurting, I thought to myself. The rest of the week flew by. We had a game on Thursday but I didn't pitch. I wore my bra and panties all week. I even wore my gaff at night which made my nightie feel so much better. Bobby and Ms. Heart wouldn't say a word about what we were doing this weekend. I was getting worried. "Come on Bobby, you just have to tell me!" I said as we walked home. "No, but I can say this. You're going to love it. It starts when we get home." "What are you waiting for. Let's hurry home." "Don't you have baseball practice today?' "No, coach gave us the day off since we're playing so well. I pitch again on Tuesday if you want to come." "I'll think about it." Bobby said as we arrived home. "Hello ladies. How was school?" Ms. Heart asked. "It was fine. Now.
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